The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
