I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
