She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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