But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
