Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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