I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
