Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
