Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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