Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i think i just lost a toe
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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