As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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