you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
