Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
