if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
