Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
