Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i think im in europe. pls send help
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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