Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
