quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
