me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
