so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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