I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
