Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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