What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
