Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
