I can text with my tongue
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize