Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
