I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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