If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Be still, my beating vagina.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
