I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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