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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
if only i could text you this smell
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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