shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
