Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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