Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
