i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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