DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
why is half of my head shaved?
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