Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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