My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
