he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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