Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
