just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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