summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
