absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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