Me. At least after what I've been through.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
