Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
