it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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