Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
