Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
