I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
