I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
