She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
