Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
