Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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