Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
