I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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