I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
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It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up