Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him

(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just another sign I need to get out of this town

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(608): So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him (608): Just another sign I need to get out of this town http://tfl.nu/jzm5

Replies (25) Good night (2973) Bad night (875)
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(630): View more from Illinois

there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'

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(630): there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is' http://tfl.nu/8psl

Replies (61) Good night (7509) Bad night (888)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

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(506): porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off! http://tfl.nu/nmc3

Replies (28) Good night (5927) Bad night (898)
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(917): View more from New York City

I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

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(917): I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out. http://tfl.nu/g8zl

Replies (27) Good night (5454) Bad night (2605)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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(614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0

Replies (13) Good night (3247) Bad night (1058)
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(231): View more from Michigan

using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

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(231): using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/yfpy

Replies (8) Good night (788) Bad night (2131)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

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(401): yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off http://tfl.nu/phv1

Replies (2) Good night (1983) Bad night (1196)
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(847): View more from Illinois

told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..

(630): View more from Illinois

how did he take it?

(847): View more from Illinois

not as well as i would have thought

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(847): told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex.. (630): how did he take it? (847): not as well as i would have thought http://tfl.nu/nj94

Replies (6) Good night (1524) Bad night (733)
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(818): View more from California

I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

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(818): I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car. http://tfl.nu/zey7

Replies (11) Good night (486) Bad night (1239)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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(570): I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out. http://tfl.nu/9vp6

Replies (7) Good night (2039) Bad night (482)
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(951): View more from California

Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

(1-951): View more from California

Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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(951): Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. (1-951): Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. http://tfl.nu/esvj

Replies (10) Good night (1463) Bad night (533)
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(720): View more from Colorado

hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.

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(720): hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now. http://tfl.nu/pc1n

Replies (8) Good night (1565) Bad night (448)
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(716): View more from New York

Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.

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(716): Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night. http://tfl.nu/ed6n

Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (801)
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(251): View more from Alabama

So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?

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(251): So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"? http://tfl.nu/3mzm

Replies (5) Good night (548) Bad night (359)
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(905): View more from Ontario

You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..

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(905): You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr.. http://tfl.nu/wzin

Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (455)

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