Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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