i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
