You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We just shotgunned beers for America
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
