worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
