hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
