Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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