lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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