I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
