Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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