sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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