this is something i pride myself on being below average for
His hands were made for my vagina.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
