I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
