she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
