I hate your face
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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