we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Drunk is not a location!
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