I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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