just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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